On the Couch with Schuabs:

Stuart 'Dodsy' Dods

Age: 28

Footy Number: Don’t care as long as I get a jumper that fits

Previous Clubs: Strathmore EDFL, Melbourne High School Old Boys, St Bernards FC

Where do you live with and with whom: With you Brains… remember? The Ghetto

Job: Banking

Marital Status: Successfully single

Car: A pearl coloured Ford Focus

AFL Team: Mighty Bulldogs

Fav AFL Player: Buddy Franklin

Fav Movie: Layer Cake

Fav Actor: Jenna Jameson

Fav TV Show: UFC – the ultimate fighter

Fav Sportsperson: S.K Warne

Fav Meal/Drink: Do love (and miss) a good pizza/any protein shake

Fav Dubai Night Spot: The York

If You Had Personalised Number Plate: UB6ILB9

Routine Before Match: Get as much water and fluids in as possible… maybe give the pins a wax? Listen to a bit of Pat Benata and Billy Idol… set to go.

About Your Teamates:

Most Annoying Player: Gordo… because hes so good

Funniest Player at Club: Nick Pinner’s a good kid isn’t he

Messiest on The Drink: Hottoooo

Favourite Heat Player: Neil McKlennan and Ive never seen him play!

Best Foot Skills: Batman on a podium.

Best Hand Skills: Have you ever had Baz give you a neck massage… its something else!

Best Grab: Ryno at the Emirates Mall

Best Trainer on the Track: Berez on the track…. Baz off it

Schaubes’s Top 10

Three favourite sporting moments:

1) Bulldogs smashing Collingwood in the Elimination Final 2006 in front of 85,000
2) 1994 North v Geelong Semi final – Ablett v The Duck… doesn’t get any better!
3) Makybe Diva winning Cox Plate then Melb Cup the next week is something to tell the grand kids
4) Brett Rainbow Winning the NBL dunk comp 1994
5) Ted Whittens final lap at the State Game was pretty memorable

Three least favourite sporting moments:

1) Chris Grant getting robbed of the Brownlow
2) Breaking my leg in Under 19s
3) Dogs loosing the 97 Preliminary Final to Adelaide by 2 points… D. Jarmen put on a clinic
4) Essendon winning the 2000 Grand Final
5) Anything Lleyton Hewit was involved in

Five celebrities would invite to dinner and why:

1) Will Farrell (genius)
2) Ricky Gervais (another genius)
3) Jessica Alba… to serve the entrée
4) Cameron Diaz… for the main
5) Kim Kardashian… for dessert

Five celebrities would invite to dinner and why:

I’ll honestly take anyone on their merit… black, brown, ebony…. mocha.

Describe your best weekend in the last 12 months?:

Finding God at about 4pm last July in the middle of the d.floor at Space nightclub in Ibiza

Name 5 players from the club you would hit the town with and why:

1) Tuppa… While everyone else sits with a line in the water hes got fish jumping into his boat…. I need to be in his boat! Plus hes like my brother.
2) Duggy… for old times sake – love the man dearly!
3) Groota… old 2-stroke, love watching him cut grass (other than mine)
4) Gordo… just like minded people, similar interests and all that
5) Fives a crowd plus you can only get 4 in a taxi! Hang on… Scooter can stand in the boot.

Funniest thing seen or experienced at a Heat function or trip?

Only been to a few ‘official’ functions…. I think Hopey bleeding from the ear one night was a highlight! Scotty O in the tutu post-Dubai 9s was gold though.

If you had to take out one of the following persons out for dinner who would it and who wouldn’t it be: Neil Mclennan, Gordo, Rhino, Scooter, Breza, Groot

Definitely would be Neil Mclennan. Who could resist dinner with the Godfather!?
Wouldn’t be too keen on taking Ryno… only because we’d turn up together and leave separately… me alone… him with the waitress. Im sick of it!

You just won 1 million Dirham, how would you spend it?

An 80 gallon bottle of vodka……………………………………………. and mixers

Finish the sentence: The Dubai Heat to me is ...

...a beautiful thing!